On Warning Labels For Bibles

Bible Content Advisory

While the media seemed to cover every conceivable angle of the Branch Davidian massacre, they failed to raise one question. If the Book of Revelations is credited as Koresh’s main inspiration, what kind of regulatory action might we expect to be taken to prevent future catastrophic events?

Any time an adolescent commits suicide, or a particularly gruesome crime, some religious nut is bound to claim the kid was listening to Ozzy Osborne or Judas Priest. As a result of these claims, a good number of rock and rap records are stickered with warning labels.

Obviously, the Book of Revelations can be considered a tremendously dangerous influence on our society. So that we might avoid future tragedies, I suggest the following guidelines:

1) Bible publishers and supply houses should voluntarily place warning stickers on any Bible that contains the Book of Revelations;

2) All Bibles must be shrink-wrapped to prevent minors from reading this harmful material;

3) Bibles containing the Book of Revelations must be kept behind the counter and sold only to those with proper ID.

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